date: Friday, June 30, 2006 @ 10:28 pm
title: BER!
What a week. What a weekend. Awesome.
It was like awesome awesome yesterday. I darn grateful that the school just smack maths right on the fourth day of the cursed week. A week of sleepless night cos I am just overly excited for the papers next day? Maddness. Stupor.
Thursday. Met Ber. That girl ah. I felt so guilty for the previous time, amidst of my disorientated life and full of crap days, I missed her totally. Completely fail to plan my time properly enough to make time to meet up with her. This time round. Once the news broke about her return. SMACK! First on the list to meet up. I just dun care. I have to the girl. And guess what HOORAY! I did. Cloud nine.
My mood now - :)
date: Thursday, June 22, 2006 @ 9:33 pm
title: A Story.
I felt demoralised one day and a friend told me this story:
Long time ago, a guy came back from war and had a fever. When he awoke in his home town
people expected him to go back to his old ways. Becos he was from a rich family, so he used to eat, drink, play around and sleep around.
Then when he awoke. He stopped all these and spent his days in the forest among the birds and trees. (nature in short) So people said he was MAD.
Then he met this girl who hang out with lepers....
and she said, "people think you are crazy by singing to birds and talking to trees"
and added, "but I think you were crazy before the war, now you are sober"
Moral of the story:
The world is crazy. Just because you dont fit in the world does not mean you are weird. you ARE the most SOBER of all of us.
Question: Isn't tt abit arrogant?
No. It is not saying we are better than others. Its just that dont let the world with its criteria judge you. Let God is your judge. As long as you know in your soul, you are walking in the sight of God. Don't be swayed by people or their opinion.
date: @ 9:22 pm
title: Me.
One-Million-Dollar-Question to all about me:What can I improve on?Just tag my tagboard.And you will be blessed a thousand times more.
date: Saturday, June 17, 2006 @ 9:58 pm
title:
It's good to worry for someone.At least someone belongs in my heart.
date: @ 9:20 pm
title: 'Sad'urday
How bad can this be? I have gradually being more of a perfectionist and critic to my surroundings, esp articles. The grammer and the sentence structure and bla bla. Sometimes even spelling tt I have been so sensitive to. Is my GP getting better? Or maybe everything is fine but my English is degrading to the extent tt everything seems wrong. Oh no! (Rubbish! Thinking way too much. Completely out of the way.)
I have been spending so much time on reading black and white with occasion my favourite red. orange. yellow highlights across the horizon. I also induced an ability - daydreaming-cum-reflecting. Awesome? Nope. Sometimes it can get pretty nasty and gross and overly realistic tt I get myself startled by my own envisioning.
Whatever. Finding excuses.
'Studying hard' has been my motto of the week and my success is determined by the repeated econs jagons oozing and finding any empty brain cells to fill and bombard my fragile nerves consistently. Word after word. Definition after one another. Explanation after each other. Non-stop. My mind is economisied. Awesome yet horrible. Like Sixth Sense like of feeling.
Well. There's Monday Blue. Tuesday Boo. Wednesday Loose. Thursday Cool. Friday Rulz. Saturday Snooze. Sunday Poof! There's a name for everyday. One week 7 days. Everyday. So Random.
Today. My phone is awefully quiet. Or maybe its just me lar. I miss people. Lots of people. Both e tangible and intangible ones. Feed my love tank?
date: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 @ 9:16 pm
title: Gay.
"Get Lost!"
Ouch. My heart shattered.
Life is like that. No pain. No gain.
Lets talk about Tolerance Vs Acceptance. Something I read one day about Homosexuals Vs Society. After reading articles and essays about sexuality in our globlised world. Its a big discovery to me tt no society explicitly accepts homonsexual practices as a normal lifestyle. Okie. Stupid not to know right. But I didn know tt it went on and on to such extent.
Just imagine gay terrorists fighting for sovergnity. A place where they can call 'home' and have their rules and regulation. It is not impossible but they will be isolated like how China comments about their dearest Taiwan being isolated from regional cooperations and globalwide involvement due to their political statues and Sino-Taiwan relations. But this form of isolation did not destroy her yet, but segregated the citizens. Well. I'm a singaporean with just an O level cert, so what say me? Nothing. Zip!
Back to gays. I am not strongly against them, but I also do not advocate their kind of liberity they have. This type of 'moral neturality' is not my cup of tea. I can tolerate but not accept it. Its not that I'm some intellectual person but its just my mind is not able to visualise the scene and comprehene the mentality of theirs. But I believe tt their choice to be and remain as homo is due to the emotional disorder that they suffer from their past hurts n experience. This experience includes learned behaviours and an act of rebelling against nature. This hurt expands out to parents, family, friends, community and society. Almost everyone.
Why am I so.. attracted to such social stigma? Who cares. Hahaha. But seriously what attracted me to this is the degree pathologist and pyscologist is able to link to from as early as the pagans to french revolution in the 1800s to womens' right movement in the 1970s until now - 2006. It has a long history of its existence within religion. humanity. culture. lifestyle. Its so deeply rooted in history yet, still unable to receive 'social recognition' but earned special rights like what handicapped enjoys.
They could be a large group of people, yet still counted as minority class as the goverment is not able to accurately account for them. Even so. many gay activist believes that such rights and classification of them is unnecessary as being different in their sexual preference is a lifestyle choice n nothing else.
Yet. Their proposition is not valid in the real world. In a US poll, most parents wouldn't want to have homosexual teachers. Reason 1: the possiblity of passing down the 'learned behaviour' to the next generation. Reason 2: Wide spread social responses. No compromise.
So how does it link with tolerance and acceptance? Answer: We can tolerate their prescene and leave them unmolested within their clinques but not accept their lifestyle as our society speaks for itself - their 1st response to their own realisation: guilt and the society is not helping by stating laws against their sexual practices.
And here's the irony. The laws are stated, yet not enforced. So does this shows that lawmakers just wanted to please the conveserative and create a illusion to moral values when it has already eroded until its core and only laws can lax the degradation and thicken the pads surrounding it? I'm not sure.
But my mores: I can love them but not their behaviour. They do not need anymore such ill-treatment but get heal from their emotional wounds. Its not just being healed that's all but to be restored entirely. Being accepted and released from their past. Hopefully it will remain as a memory of the past and a testimony of the future that nothing is impossible. As you can see. My mores are a reflection of my conviction and faith. Can comprehene. Can see beyond.
Anyway. How did I get to here? No coherence with my opening statement. That's life - complicated because we are humans.
date: Tuesday, June 13, 2006 @ 1:19 am
title: Hypoallergic.
'It been long since i last blog,' this is what i call 'just follow what people post on their blogs if they have not been doing so for a long long time.'
'I miss you.'
'Me too.'
June's here n soon it will be gone. Like chasing wind, everything is meaningless. Sounds familiar? I'm using bibilical allusion. This is called literary device. Oh man.. Literature!
'I am who I am so who am I. That's the question.'
I am the modern Shakespeare. Just call me William. William Shakespeare. I will be the spear that thrusts into your bleeding heart to relief the pain with another pain. Another wound with another wound. I will be the pepper that arouse the nose and rebooth your senses once more. Ah ah ah chooo!
This is literature overload. I want to be loved. broken. repenting. restored.
This is my jar. Broken.
